Overview of Counseling

Counseling is a learning process that has many faces.  There are both numerous models and approaches to counseling as well as difficult situations in life for which counseling can offer a guiding light.  This variety of therapy formats and its broad applicability can lead to confusion and misunderstanding. 

First, the terms counseling and psychotherapy are interchangeable.  The word therapy comes from the Greek word meaning “to heal”.  The real healing power and benefit of therapy, studies show, come from the quality of the therapeutic relationship more so than the model or approach to therapy that is practiced.

I have come to believe that we have a fundamental and compelling need to be understood, listened to, and taken seriously by another human being.  Unfortunately, in our society today, there are few places where people really experience themselves as truly cared for.  Years ago perhaps the family doctor served that role best but in our era of managed care, this is much less likely.  Ideally, our spouse or partner is the one in whom to confide and feel valued and understood.  But, the intimate connection we all hope for in a relationship is elusive or gets lost in the frenzy of two-career couples and the stress of daily life. 

The therapist enters a partnership with a client and acts as a coach to first identify the areas that need attention and then to support and invite the client to examine the underlying factors that may influence healthy choices.  The treatment model may be a traditional psychodynamic approach whereby the therapist and client work together to examine one’s life in reference to the learning of one’s past experience.  A cognitive-behavioral model often is effective because here talking about problems gets translated into positive action and healthier behavior.  An interpersonal model of therapy is useful when a history of troubled relationships, emotional bruises, or self-defeating behavior patterns can exert an undertow on our confidence and self-worth.  This negative undertow can eat away at our relationship satisfaction.

One approach that I like to use, the ego-state model, is based on the idea that just as our body has parts, so does our mind.  By looking at the interplay of these ego-states or “parts”, the client can come to a greater understanding of troubling behaviors and change them.  The goal in therapy within this framework is to integrate these parts which leads to a greater sense of self-understanding and personal mastery.

Usually therapy begins with a 1 – 3 session assessment, after which the therapist offers impressions and discusses how the therapist and client can work together. 

Treatment for Anxiety and Depression

Counseling is about change.  For some clients, behavioral change is the goal.  Others want relief from symptoms that are interfering with their functioning at home or at work.  Sometimes these symptoms can eat away at the vitality of our relationships.

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Marriage Counseling

Joy and fulfillment in our intimate relationship is a proven formula for meaning and satisfaction in life.  Studies show that people even live longer in a stable marriage.  Coaching couples to diminish disappointment and resentment, clarify expectations, resolve conflict, and learn to get more pleasure from their marriage is where the action takes place in marriage counseling.

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